Saturday, December 15, 2007
hello.
today's NSSN lacked flavour in my opinion. like everything seemed to have been stitched together in too little time.
i officially know how to feels like to be one of them office rats that scurry to work through rush hour every morning. to sit down at the computer all day long till 12 before a 1 hour lunch break and then back to the computer till 6 odd. to have a cup of coffee, prepared by the "coffee auntie" by my side. rather bland but i guess you find amusement if you really have to.
anyway today my manager rather gracefully permitted me to leave an hour earlier so i could head back east.
today was "my last day" for IT. so sad right? but i guess i didn't really let myself drift too far into that feeling. that nice feeling which i probably won't experience for a long time. after all i really have to learn to walk away.
which i did.
you know how in movies the main character always has a thousand and one things flitting through his mind at that important instant but ends up putting forward just 0.01% of that content and ending up looking and sounding like a bumbling idiot. yep that was me today.
anyway as i've been thinking, it's all up to Him to give what he thinks is good for me. so maybe this wasn't good for me or there's something round the corner that's better.
difficult to envision anything better than this though. but i am but a mere foolish, short-sighted, shallow mortal. for His wisdom is too deep for me to fathom. aiyah but it feels quite horrible. like i won't get this nice feeling ever again.
oh well.
one more thing i realised how insecure a person i am. i seem to have a need for friends to be around me. however it seems that in my attempt to make diverse a group of friends, i've ended up with friends many of whom i'm not that close to. and for that matter most of my friends have other friends whom they hang out with... anyway i guess sometimes i feel alone.
God is good.
What do i do now?
Life just sucks some times. Otherwise life is good. :)~~ posted by me on 12:14 am
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