Sunday, June 17, 2007
Well today was wasted away with much stoning and thinking.
The more i thought the more i felt upset with her. For telling me things to add misery to my life that's already filled with miserable studying in a holiday which wasn't enjoyable. For possibly jeopardising my efforts to do well for my exams. For not even trying to make sacrifices and putting in any effort to make things better. For not fulfilling her roles and responsibilities.
I was wondering "what would have happened if i had been born into another family"?
Would things be better or worse?
I guess the human mind is never satisfied is it? The grass always seems greener on the other side.
Half the time she isn't around. I truly wonder why i haven't grown into a juvenile delinquent with a criminal record, poor results and horrible life habits that destroy the body. After all many other people have tried self mutilation, suicide and self destruction for far smaller problems like breaking up with girl/boyfriends right?
I guess as much as i feel that He has forsaken me, deep down i still believe that he'll watch my back? I don't know. I guess the reasons why i haven't resorted to doing anything stupid are coz of my believe in Him. Perhaps it's an over exaggeration.
I want to move out and have my own life.
I want to have a successful career.
I want to have a spouse whom i love and loves me.
I want to have a happy family.
I want to have friends i can rely on all the time.
I want a life of my own.
Life just sucks some times. Otherwise life is good. :)~~ posted by me on 9:37 pm
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